A Wild, Emotional Ride

I was with a girl that I had been seeing for a couple of weeks at this point.  We had spent the day together and gotten back to her place around 6pm.  I had been feeling pulled to take a mushroom trip because of some challenging emotions I was having a hard time processing. We’d talked about this, but I didn’t know if she would be down to trip too so I didn’t push anything on her.  I was relieved when she actually brought up that she wanted to take a trip that night. I felt supported and excited to dive in.

I knew what I wanted to achieve and thought hard about it while chewing up the dried mushrooms.  I took about 2g to start but we didn’t really measure them.  About 30 minutes in I started feeling it but we were really caught up in conversation.  No phones, no screens just each other with some soft music playing in the background.  Things were going really well as they usually do, we were laughing, touching, and describing the visuals we were experiencing.  

About 2-3 hours in we decided we wanted to dose again so we each took about another 1-2g.  This is where I really started working through those pent up emotions.  I have a hard time dealing with my ‘negative’ thoughts and I find psilocybin helps to break down all the narratives of “men don’t cry” and toxic masculinity that I’ve been programmed to believe throughout my life.  

I started talking about things that I subconsciously was holding onto.  Things that I didn’t even know would make me upset.  Past experiences about death and loss that I felt I had completely moved on from.  I just broke down and it all came out.  I wasn’t panicking or frantic, I was just sad and I think it’s what my body needed – to feel that sadness.  

I  have to say, it felt so good once I had calmed down.  So light. And she was my rock throughout the whole ordeal.  

The conversation switched to more positive notes after that and we stayed on the couch for about another hour or so when we decided to dose again.  We took another 1-2g and shortly after started fooling around on the couch.  Sex on mushrooms is fun. It’s not about the climax, it’s more just about making the other person feel good and enjoying each other.  After we were both exhausted physically.  I didn’t really feel high anymore because the uplifting feeling in my chest was gone but as I looked up I took in my surroundings I knew I was still fucked.  The visuals were 10/10 like nothing I had ever seen before and I have done a lot of mushrooms in my life.  Everything around me looked huge.  I had picked up my glasses and couldn’t comprehend how they were mine because they looked 4x too big.  Everything did.  I felt like I was in a giant’s house.  I described what was happening to her and she said she was experiencing the same thing.  After that, we both just layed on the couch and enjoyed the show until we fell asleep.  Overall the trip lasted about 12 hours, I remember the sun coming up when we were finally passing out.  By far one of the best experiences of my life.

– Mr. Fizzle